Blessed all along (part 4.1)

Aidiladha in Miri is kinda -.-, most probably because my family isn’t here. After the raya prayer, I went to the market to buy me a week’s supply of groceries/food. The weather is beautiful. I drove back using the road along the coastal line whilst listening to Sugar Ray’s album…”Someday…when my life has passed me by, I lay around and wonder why you were always there for me..”. Man, need to get me one of those convertibles…Wayfarer+Convertible+Beautiful Sun+Beautiful Sky+Sugar Ray’s+The wind in your hair=Blissssssssss.

*****

After I failed my first oral exam, I was lost. I blamed almost everything for the ‘misfortune’. I was unable to accept the fact that I failed. Failure was something I rarely encountered. My ego was as big as it could be. “It was never my fault”, my mind would tell me.In front of people I would act as if the failure never affected me in anyway.

My attitude towards work never changed. I was doing something which I loved. My mother would ask me, “Bila lagi Wa?”. I never answered because truth was I was scared. I didn’t have the answer. I was mad as heck at the surveyor. I joined the program end of 2004 and it was nearly the end of 2009. “Awak dah boleh jadi doctor kalau awak ambil medic. Anak saya dekat New Zealand dah nak habis dah doctorate dia, sebaya awak la”, said the surveyor during my first oral exam. I looked at him and didn’t say a word. Rasa nak terkam. Was he trying to motivate me or was he telling me that I should stop? I was angry.

End of 2009, I submitted my application for a re-exam. My attitude never changed. I was thinking I would nail this one and get it over with. Also at the same time, I began reading blogs or blog-walking (as some called it) because I started writing one again. I wanted ideas. I came across a lot of blogs which were either of teenage angst, adults who lost their identities, people who were full of themselves(ceh macam bagus je gua) and a lot more which didn’t really give me any “lightbulb-on-top-of-my-head-going-ting!”

Then one day, on FB, I saw my friend who just  ‘Like’-ed an unknown profile which gave preview via a picture of a very beautiful lady. I was intrigued, she didn’t look like a Malaysian and yet her name was very Malaysian. I thought, this must be one of those hoax profiles. Then I clicked the picture which lead me to a fan page of that lady. Turned out she was a blogger. At that time, her total fans were around 12k+. “What gives?”I read her info and clicked one of the links and began to read.

to be continued…

This song was popular around the end of the 90s era if I remember correctly.

 

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