That lovely loathsome fear

I woke up this morning feeling queasy, uneasy, frightened, depressed and demotivated. All because I was bombarded with jobs, tasks, expectations, questions, aspirations from the day before. I didn’t want to go to work. I wanted to stay asleep. But I couldn’t because my conscience kept asking me, “Until when will I run from the things that I fear? When will I muster enough courage to stand my ground and confront that monster you call fear? Who shall I rely on when I’ve got nowhere else to run? Who shall my beloved ones rely on when I run away from that which I fear?”Albert Einstein once said, “A life worth living is a life spent for others”. If my life is what I fear will cost me, then so be it.

So I woke up, prayed, asked Allah for the strength that I wasn’t even sure if I possessed any. Whatever that was intended to take place would happen as per the Almighty’s will and would not happen in any other way.

This is living. As the house seemed smaller through the rear view window, I realized that fact. So what, so far all these fear stemmed from my personal ego. You have to fall, to know how much it hurts and to learn not to fall again.

Fear, it is there to keep you on your feet for without fear, you become reckless and in the aviation world, recklessness costs lives. Lives, no matter how bad they might be, are still a priceless gift appreciated by those who understand and are willing to observe. It takes years for a baby to grow up into an adult, but it takes less than a second to see that same person sprawled lifeless.

Fear, that lovely loathsome fear. A hooded figure with a scythe in one hand hiding a beauty unimaginable except only for the braves AND the vigilant. Wonderful paradox indeed.

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