Random Ramblings

It’s ok.

anwar777 — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 04:41:50 +0000

I couldn’t and can’t read minds but still I tried. I was embarrassed but still I tried. I was shunned but still I tried. I was looked at as a hopeless desperate, but still I tried. I was removed, but still I tried. I was blocked, but still I tried. I was looked at as a creepo bizzarro, but still I tried. I was mocked but still I tried. I was shoved with all the unnecessary but still I tried. Then came a time when I grew tired and tried to erase all the memories but I couldn’t . For these events helped me found my strength, and the love I am capable of giving. It’s ok. Just don’t tell me I didn’t try and don’t blame me, please, for not trying again.

Purpose.

anwar777 — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 05:57:59 +0000

It feels like forever since my last post.

Life has been busy. Or at least it was me who jumped into matters which consumed so much of my personal time. What for? I was looking for a purpose.My purpose was looking for the ultimate purpose. Did I find it? I did and in fact it has been there since Allah knows when but it was made oblivious due to my own oversights.

This ultimate purpose has its own way of linking itself to everything that I do. All the time. I am glad that it works how it works.

This ultimate purpose is endearing, enlightening, empowering. This has been my strength. The fuel for my ambitions. The force which pushes me everytime I run, the spirit which holds me up whenever I fight for a cause.

The ultimate purpose. Just hold on a little longer. I will take us there. Just please don’t stop being my ultimate purpose. I will take us there.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dan Maaf Zahir Batin.

Picturesque Words.

anwar777 — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:41:05 +0000

How can words be picturesque? When there’s nothing that those eyes could see? The answer: When those words stirred wonderful emotions. When they invoked wishful thinking, utopian ambitions. In a world conquered by emotionless machines, emotionless corporate system i.e. flying birds, computers, gadgets, politics etc, these words brought out the humanity from beings who are mono-toned by routines, necessities to advance to the next level in life or even to feed hungry mouths.

A few months ago, I discovered a person by the name of Khalil Gibran. His quotes were different. What do I mean by different? I’ve read a lot of quotes, and I have to say not many of them would draw me in as Khalil’s did, some were simply exhibiting usage of bombastic words to explain the simplest element of life or its motivation. My preference might be different than yours. So read his quotes and ask yourself. This is where I go to when my memory couldn’t recall those picturesque words ->Khalil Gibran’s Quotes . My personal favourite would be “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. ~Khalil Gibran”

I believe.

anwar777 — Tue, 24 May 2011 15:49:47 +0000

When I first joined APR, my training school before I became an engineer, Mr Amirruddin told me, when an aircraft engineer talks, he would try his best to avoid the phrase ‘I think’. An aircraft engineer must know what he is talking about and therefore must first learn and understand what he is going to talk about, what he is going to convey. Hence he emphasized the phrase ‘I believe’. I believe that such defect have certain causes. I believe the repetitive fault codes are pointing to a common snag which is yet to be documented and et cetera. When an aircraft engineer lies, he puts lives in dangers which almost certain would cause fatalities.

*****

I believe humans are born good.

I believe humans prefer to do good.

I believe we are all capable of achieving our dreams provided we are willing to do what it takes.

I believe that there are no born losers.

I believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

I believe that there is always a peaceful solution to a conflict.

I believe that Allah looks after those who remember Him.

In chasing my ambitions, I have only me and the Almighty. I believe in Him and I believe in me.

Never stop believing.

Room for a busy mind.

anwar777 — Wed, 11 May 2011 14:31:18 +0000

It has been close to 2 weeks since I first started my new job function. So far so good. I am getting more and more motivated as each day passes by. I am trying to catch up with all the knowledge that this industry has to offer. A very demanding task for the body and the mind that I could hardly think of any personal wants. In a way, that’s good. I am less dreamy and more in touch with the reality of who I really am. But, I do feel distanced from one of my favourite past time activities. Writing. Writing meaningful passages.

Also reading. I need to allocate some time for non-work related reading. Novels, stories. They help a lot in improving how I write and what I write.

Till meaningful passages flourish again. Have a wonderful life everyone.

Happy Mothers’ Day.

anwar777 — Sat, 07 May 2011 02:54:44 +0000

I am not ashamed to admit that I choke everytime I listen to this song. Powerful lyrics.

A song for Mama by Boyz II Men

You taught me everything
And everything you’ve given me
I always keep it inside
You’re the driving force in my life, yeah
There isn’t anything
Or anyone I can be
And it just wouldn’t feel right
If I didn’t have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You’ll always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Chorus:
Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you’re the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin’ you is like food to my soul
You’re always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin’ me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You’ll always be
You will always be the girl in my life
Chorus

Au revoir…

anwar777 — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 01:33:15 +0000

On Thursday, one of the expat engineers came to the QA office to bid farewell to us and to the aviation world. “That’s it for me I guess, I’m done with the aviation. Time for me to go back to my family in Canada”. He’s 65 years old.

I couldn’t believe what I heard. I’ve never thought of leaving the aviation industry. When I was in diploma, I told myself, once you’re in aviation, you could never leave it. It is an industry developed and inspired by passion unlike any other. “Come on Bob, you’re only 65!” my boss told him. He just chuckled a bit, “Nah, I wanna go back to be with my family”.

Leaving the aviation…Those 3 words struck me in a place that was rarely struck. I looked at my boss and uttered,”Wow”. He just shrugged his shoulder. “All the best with your future endeavour Bob”, I said to him whilst shaking his hand. The grip was inspiring and in a way saddening. The grip was as if it spoke of this message, “Son, my time is up, you are the future of aviation, if not the world, then maybe here, where your heart and home is”.

I love aviation so much. It’s a world which lifted me away from the pains in my past life and it created a stronger new me, capable of facing challenges in whatever form they wanted to come. I could always turn to aviation for hope, and strength. For that, I’m forever bound to it.

Au revoir Bob, merci for everything you have done for the aviation industry…

Nemequittepas. The English translation for the title of this song is “Don’t Leave Me”.

What am I looking for?

anwar777 — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:18:19 +0000

I was driving home from the supermarket with a bag full of groceries on the passenger’s seat when Avril Lavigne’s “What the Hell” played on my mp3 player (I turned shuffle mode ON) and I thought to myself how befitting. I was feeling kinda merry that day because my role change has been accepted and confirmed (role change from the executive side to line/engineering side). In fact, the upper management welcomed it because of the nationalization policy that our company is trying to adhere to. At the moment, I would say 70-75% of the aircraft engineers on the hangar floor are expatriates. We need more locals. Anyway back to Avril Lavigne’s song and the mood et cetera et cetera. Due to the merry feeling, I sang along and acted like a Avril in the video clip (OMG >_<) and when I arrived at a junction, the traffic light was red and I noticed that the driver+passengers in the car beside mine was looking at me and I stopped my acting and got into this macho mode. LOL!!!! They were laughing and I pretended not to notice… >_>

So I arrived at my apartment, was about to get into the elevator and a bunch of kids, (sons/daughters of expatriates who live in the same building) ran in before me, giggling. I looked at one of the girls, “What’s your name pretty girl?” and the girl answered, “Na(Ne)-yo-mi”. I looked at the movement of her mouth and for some reason my mind was like slowing down when it tried to register the word…Na(Ne)-yo-mi…..”OHHHH Naomi!” I muttered to myself “Ohh hi, I am Anwar”. All this while I’ve been pronouncing the name as Na (Nah)-Wo-mi…LOL. I looked at her,”Very very nice name”. She giggled. “Be careful with the elevator doors yea” I said when I stepped out upon reaching the 3rd level (where my apartment is). “We will!” one of them answered. Nice revelation and I walked towards my apartment whilst smiling to myself.

*****

In life greed is a double-edged sword. A lot of things are double-edged sword actually, but in this entry I pick greed. On the day that I got the confirmation letter of my role change, a friend of mine told me that another company is offering a lot of money for the same position that I am holding now. I was bugged to be honest. The amount that they are willing to pay is just O_O. I would like to believe that I am a man who hold very strictly to my principles, my ambitions, my dreams and the method via which I shall move towards the said elements. But the amount my friend told me, was just tooo…wow. I am not saying that I would get the job if I sent in my resume, but if they call me for an interview, I dare say more than 50% probability that I would get the job. I don’t mean to brag, but I am quite confident in my ‘interview skills’ (whatever that might mean).

Then reality hit me, with that amount of money, the responsibility, the expectation of my work, my knowledge would definitely be….sky high. I might pass the interview, but when it comes to the actual work, would I be able to fulfill the actual requirements? I have to accept the fact that I am still young, my experience, my knowledge, my license are not yet where I would like them to be. I have to collect more experience to be a much more respectable position holder.

So what am I looking for? Careerwise. Not lifewise.

Experience. Licenses. Aircraft types approvals. Knowledge. Money. Why is money a part of my career objectives? Well, I have to be realistic. Everything needs money in today’s age. BUT I have to be honest, I am not capable yet of fulfilling a role which pays so much money yet. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I might be able to blind the interviewers with my ‘skills’ but I doubt my capability to execute tasks which reward so much. Plus in this industry, news of failures spread like wild fire. Experience is something which I cannot rush. It flows with time. Give me at least 2 years, then maybe, I would trust myself to hold such position.

I am not yet where I want to be, but everything is satisfactory.

LOL suddenly Hindi song. I am tired, I need something relaxing. I wrote this right after after 2 hours of futsal. Ok now I am ready to get into the shower.

Are you happy now?

anwar777 — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 08:45:12 +0000

“Anwar will be leaving…the QA dept to support our Engineering side as an avionics engineer”, announced my boss in a meeting.

“Ohh I thought he’ll be leaving the company..”chirped one person.

“Are you happy now Anwar?” my boss asked me.

“In a way, I am” I answered although to be honest I did feel bad (just a little) because my boss is one of the coolest guys around and he taught me a lot about the ways in the corporate part of an aviation organization and now I am gonna leave him (the dept) to chase my dreams. I am thankful to have met such an understanding person, even though we are from different races and different religions.

A little about my boss. He has been working as a licensed aircraft maintenance engineer all over the world. And by all over the world, I mean it, all over the world. He has been to the Europe, the African continent, you name it, he has probably been there. His approach to things/issues/problems is very practical and logical. No hanky panky, no words twisting. If a tree blocks your way, cut it. If you need more engineers, then hire some more. In his view, nothing is impossible. No excuses.

He claimed that he was a very good cook. He has not invited me to taste his artwork yet. But from what he has told me, I do believe that he does know a lot about cooking/spices. A month or two ago, he asked our base manager who was going to South Africa to get him a jar of local spices/herbs so that he can make ‘Biltong’. This mixture of herbs and spices then will be used to marinate meat or fish which then will be dried up under the sun. You can straightaway eat it or cook it or whatever. More info here.

His mission now? To find the perfect combination of ingredients to make that tasty, sambal belacan for nasi lalapan.

*****

So what do I feel now?

Mostly happy and motivated. I love the aircraft so much. I can sit for hours on end doing jobs on the aircraft. To see the whole instruments, the crystal displays powering up, the needle of gauges moving wildly, the buzzes of the electronic equipment ‘talking’ to each other, is a privilege enjoyed by the aviation personnel. To imagine how the operation of one component trigger another component and then another and another and maybe a system followed by another system and the final result is a flying machine capable of roles, manouvres dreamed by geniuses hundreds, thousands of years ago is a wonderment, an honour for the informed minds.

God I can’t wait to start my new role. Or should I say back to the role from whence I have found myself. My passion.

Quoting an Editor’s Article in the Helicopter’s magazine (Canada’s National Rotary Wing Magazine March/April 2011 issue) by Matt Nicholls

What resonated with me most about these great leaders, however, was the undercurrent that tied everything together – what I call “the passion principle”. This intangible element is the fuel that thrusts creative engines into overdrive – it’s what enable us to achieve more than we ever thought possible, reach levels we couldn’t even fathom. It makes good things great, great things prodigious. It fulfills, …it completes. It even heals and reforms.

To answer my own question again. I am happy.

I can’t wait to make things fly.

When I was working in Malaysia Airlines, I used to whistle to the tune of this song when I had to spend long hours in the bellies of those beautiful flying beasts. How long? As long as I was doing my job.

Selimut Hati – Blanket for the heart? LOL

anwar777 — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 08:41:10 +0000

I am out of ways to turn words into mesmerizing lines and hence I decided to translate a Malay-Indo song into English. I got a whole lot of issues to talk about but I lack the idea to connect the story line to make it seamless. Translating a song from one language to another worked for my Malay blog. LOL it has only been a week and already my creativity running dry. Take note, the malay lines were copied from here . So credits for the guitar chords goes to the writer who came up with the guide on the given address. The strumming pattern? Mmmm about 2 swings per chord. It’s music, gotta find one that you like and one that suits your singing style.

Intro: F Am Bb C 2X

F Am Bb    C          F Am Bb
Aku kan menjadi malam-malammu
I'll be your nights

        C         F Am Bb
kan menjadi mimpi-mimpimu
I'll be your dreams

          C   Dm G7 Bb 	   C
dan selimuti hatimu yang beku
I'll cover/blanket/warm your frozen heart

F Am Bb     C		F    Am   Bb
aku kan menjadi bintang-bintangmu
I'll be your stars

     C           F  Am  Bb
kan slalu menyinarimu
which will always shine upon you

          C        Dm   G7 Bb   C
dan menghapus rasa rindumu yang pilu
and erase your sad yearning

Am Dm
aku bisa
I could

Bb       C        Am       Dm
  untuk menjadi apa yang kau minta
 be what you wanted me to be

Bb       C        Am       Dm
  untuk menjadi apa yang kau impikan
 be what you wished for

Bb       C        Am       Dm    Bdim7  Gm  C
 tapi ku tak bisa menjadi dirinya
but I could never be him (the guy before me)

F Am Bb     C          F Am Bb
aku kan menjadi embun pagimu
I will be your morning dewdrop

         C           F  Am  Bb
yang kan menyejukkan jiwamu
which will comfort your soul

         C       Dm  G7  Bb    C
dan kan membasuh hatimu yang layu
and freshen your withering heart
Am Dm
aku bisa
I could 

Bb       C        Am       Dm
  untuk menjadi apa yang kau minta
 be what you wanted me to be

Bb       C        Am       Dm
  untuk menjadi apa yang kau impikan
be what you wished for

Bb       C        Am       Dm    Bdim7  Gm  C
  tapi ku tak bisa menjadi dirinya
but I could never be him (the guy before me)
GUitar Solo:
F Am Bb C
F Am Bb C
F Am Bb C
Dm G7 Bb C F

Gm  Am    Bb  C        Dm
Tinggalkan sejenak lalumu
Stop for a while

  Am           Bb
beri s'dikit waktu
Allow me some time

Gm  Am    Bb
Kepadaku
(some time)For me

C            Dm    Bdim7  Gm  C
tuk meyakinkanmu...
to convince you/ to gain your trust...

G Bm C     D          G Bm C
Aku kan menjadi malam-malammu
I'll be your nights

        D         G Bm C
kan menjadi mimpi-mimpimu
I'll be your dreams

          D   Em   Em/C#
dan selimuti hatimu
and I'll cover/blanket your heart

C    D       Em   G
Selimuti hatimu
I'll cover/blanket/warm your heart

C    D       Em   G
Selimuti hatimu (repeat)
I'll cover/blanket/warm your heart
 Outro:
Em Em/C# Am D G

Hmm I got a feeling that my writings are getting lamer and lamer but there
are times for this I guess. Even the font for the closing paragraph is
of the same type with the lyrics I translated. So lazy and idea-less.

By the way, I tried to translate the lyrics as per context that I
understood. Hopefully more anglicized ideas will flourish after
this.